The Thais are all smiles, especially if you (as a foreigner) give them one first to ease the possible tension of "idk how this farang is going to act, so I'm kind if intimidated by her" and make them feel safe enough to open up and return the smile. I'm talking about MOST of them. There are always exceptions and sometimes I give a smile and get a solid face that just stares, which I don't know how to take yet, but until I do, I just laugh to myself at the possible thoughts racing through their heads. Thailand is "the land of smiles" though. I don't know what all this garb is I hear about foreigners not being able to smile/look at anyone here because its so unsafe. How are you supposed to make fun of this one life you're given if smiling is a dangerous act? Ridiculous. Like how Europeans are scared to come to the U.S. because they hear how many people are shot and murdered every 30 seconds or whatever and I haven't ever witnessed anything of the sort in my 24 years of living there. It happens everywhere, but it doesn't mean you have to stop living because it's too unsafe to do anything but fear.
The sun's raining down on my skin as I write this atop my balcony overlooking the mountains, river, and the lovely town of Kanchanaburi (the second night in the town, as the River Kwai Mansion). Such a wonderful escape from the lack of exposure to the sun during the week that I have to deal with, trapped under the covering of the school. Watched some 14-year-old boys swimming around in the river with little black inner tubes. The River Kwai flows down into the Chao Phraya river that runs through Bangkok. It's much cleaner in Kanchanaburi. There's no way I'd swim in the Chao Phraya in the city, but I did get in a lil ways in the Kwai.
Another thing on Phil's list of things to do in Kanchanaburi that I wouldn't have done on my own was to visit the Death Rail Museum that talks about the Japanese' malicious ways in WWII. Kinda cool to learn about. Met 2 girls from the Netherlands, Flor and Hannakah (sp?)...yeh like the Jewish holiday who were touring around the country for a bit. My tie-dye V-neck shirt got all stretched out on the drive back home to Pakkret. Boo. Back to trafficland and pollution city.
It's interesting how poor a majority of this country is, yet I haven't seen one homeless person yet. They're all so close to having nothing (everything), yet they can make do with what they DO have and they are happy. It's all about mindset. Westerners are too needy. They aren't resourceful. They don't understand and can't fathom life without things.
I love how colorful Thais make everything. Their vehicles are all pimped out in vibrant colors, or are pimped out in some way. Even the garbage trucks are adorned with colorful shapes and designs on the backs and sides. The air con buses are out of control! Double-decker charter-bus-like things with air brushed images from top to bottom and front to back, with chrome exhaust pipes, loud, fancy sound systems blasting dance music, and covered with dozens of lights on the front. Some have these Michelin man-like things on the front, too...3-D. So intense, you can't help but laugh when one comes plowing down the street. The sawng-thaews have bright lime green roofs in the back, purple, yellow and green lights, some have disco balls and huge speakers and sub woofers like a party bus to take you to and from work. haha So hysterical.
The toilet paper, if you can find it...which is usually a travel package of tissue that some girls and foreigners carry around, is about the size of one square of American toilet paper. there are no paper towels, and there DEFINITELY aren't paper towels 16 inches x 12 inches like in the States. "Tissue" of any sort is not only hard to find, but also comes in environmentally-conscious sizes. Why do we think bigger is always better? Grr.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Empty Gravity
I don't want to convert. I don't want to rebel. I want to know. What's the harm in asking questions and being curious? Doing so in a way that doesn't judge, one way or the other, after learning something, but simply using the information to put the puzzle pieces of fact together in order to be able to see the whole image as it is, not how it should or could be.
I love rewarding my students. I love giving them candy or letting them play games in class, educational games (usually) where they actually all have fun and laugh and smile. I love saying something (completely without direct intention) that somehow or another ends up making someone feel special and tickles his or her soul, if only for a moment. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and when my words or actions end up affecting someone positively, to my awareness, I can't help but giggle at the beauty of someone feeling special.
One of my students (12-years-old) was writing sentences about how he felt. One sentence said "When I feel unhappy, I eat coke." hahaha I had to laugh hysterically. And this is why our world is so corrupt!
Thai food has yet to disappoint me. Granted, I have had a few dishes that made me basically cry for about 20 minutes, my face turn red, and practically made me blow a fuse because of the intensit of the spiciness, but it's always been well worth it. The best part so far has been the fact that I don't have a clue about most of the ingredients in my food. I usually have no idea what I am eating. They cut up whole chickens (even though I don't eat chicken) and throw everything in the pan, include whole herbs like whole, raw galangal (Thai ginger) root pieces, huge and impossible-to-chew bay leaves, and some sort of peppercorns they use that add so much flavor, but are SO intense if eaten raw or without by themselves and whole. My point is that I love the constant stimulation of all these new foods that always have some sort of surprise about them. There's usually at least one or two ingredients that I discover at the bottom of the dish or that I've never tried or seen before.
Down in Bangkok near Khao San Road is the famous Wat Phra kaew nd Grand Palace. Apparently this is the most famous temple in the country, and for good reason. It's stunning details, colors, intricacy of architecture and decoration, as well as its enormous lay out, consumed me for several hours one day. This was my first true experience with Buddhism as a religion. Incense and flowers were given as offerings, shoes were piled high and left outside the actual temple, and every square centimeter of these buildings was adorned with some sort of color of paint or texture that blew my mind. The entire expanse of one bordering wall told a story via hand-painted murals and gold flaking. So much time and care is put into each piece of these temples, resulting in a fine display and representation of the Buddhist culture.
A friend from back in the States came to Thailand on a yoga retreat last week, and although we were unable to get together before she had to return, she sent a new Polish friend Daria (from Ft. Lauderdale, FL) my way, who was staying in the country a few extra days and wanted to hang out with a face from a familiar place. Together, we took a van from Bangkok to a place about 2 hours west of here called Kanchanaburi. This is a smaller, but also touristy little city, and another place to scratch off on my list of places to which I need to visit. Teacher Phil met us there on his motorcycle. After being crammed in this large van like sardines for a few hours and not being able to put my feet up on my seat or the one in front of me (because it's Thailand and feet are considered dirty and should not be shown or aimed at anyone), we were bombarded at the bus station with Thais trying to make a buck from the tourists and give us a ride in their tuk tuks or taxis or motorcycles. It was slightly overwhelming for a few moments, but once we got away from the station area and found a row of food stalls to pacify our hunger pangs, we were able to relax and take in the scene. I was feeling ballsy and curious (go figure) and ended up buying an assortment of insects and amphibians to snack on as an appetizer. Phil and Daria were rather speechless throughout the selection, purchasing (only 30 baht...about $1), and eating process, and I must say their faces were priceless. It was new and different and I don't necessarily support the mass extinction of these creatures (grasshoppers, frogs, larvae, centipede things, etc.) but it was one of those you just have to try once to say you did, so...I did. They were pretty crunchy, and I would probably prefer them covered in chocolate or a dip of some sort, but they were cooked and lightly salted and actually not too bad. There was about one heaping handful of assorted critters that lasted me through the next day's breakfast. haha. I definitely got my protein in that day! We stayed in floating rooms with walls and ceilings constructed from paper-thin sugarcane on the River Kwai, the first night. I woke up to this loud noise of a long tail boat pulling a huge floating restaurant down the river. Soo loud..
We rented another motorcycle and toured through the winding mountain roads, fresh air, and tiny villages
of the Thai countryside about an hour north to the Erawan Waterfalls. I felt so alive behind the handlebars with the wind in my hair, turning it into one big dread lock. My nose filled with hundreds of aromas that shuffled through the air, all so different, yet all so deliciously invigorating. Each one made my smile grow wider and wider. The untethered feeling of having control of time, speed, and direction that was given me the moment I affixed myself in the driver's seat of the motorcycle was a brilliant highlight of my time here to date. It was yet another feeling to add to my ever-growing list of indescribable feelings I've experienced. I've driven motorcycles before, preferably dirt bikes that I could take off-roading on dirt ramps and through the woods in a race to not get to anywhere, but to get the most out of the experience, meaning faster speeds, steeper jumps, trickier terrain, etc. Every experience is different, though, and this one, on this bike, with this girl on the back, both of us with bare feet, in this country, driving down this road to this place, was unforgettable. Weaving in and out between trucks with bamboo poles piled 7 feet high on top of the racks and finally getting a first-hand dose of Thai-style driving was incredible. So free! Smiles and waves from all the passers-by who happen to be watching the road from their lazy hammocks, fruit stands, or bungalows made me giddy. Once we arrived at the waterfall park, we were greeted by foreigners (farangs) from every corner of the globe, and they were speaking languages to which I've not been introduced. So cool! Having to figure out which language to best address them was quite a thrill. Language really does open up a part of your mind that takes you out of your comfort zone, and if not utilized and practiced, will never become easier. It's not everyday that we are able to use this kind of knowledge that we may or may not already have, but once you open that door, it's a challenge that can be rather addicting and consuming (in a good way). The average American is spoiled (to some) or deprived of ( to others a.k.a. me) in that they don't have/get to experience the inability of being able to communicate to another human being via the use of words and language. It's really sad. Most Americans don't know what it's like to be somewhere where they are not understood and able to get/do anything they want, talk to anyone they want at any time. Having to learn or rack your brain for words in a different language, just in order to say hello or apologize or order food or any small task (not to mention get to know a person) is complicated. It's liberating and such a fun thing to be able to do. Americans are so brainwashed into believing the lies that they are the best of the best and the rest of the world wants to live in America and be like Americans and speak and act and talk and dress like Americans. It's a load of crap, and it's so sad to be the fat, lazy country that the rest of the world makes fun of for these reasons. America has a lot going for it, a lot of opportunities and such, but it's not full of educated, happy, and selfless people by any means. What are we striving for in life, anyway? Do we really want to be the most popular kid in school who is only popular because our parents are rich and so we have all these fancy clothes and drive a nice car but can't do anything for ourselves, much less for the other people around us? We don't have any close friends, merely millions of acquaintances, and it's our own fault. We are so talented and have so many resources, yet we choose to be so selfish and run the world, oblivious to the exuberant amount of good we're destroying in the process. People of the world probably wouldn't mind if we shared our easily-obtained money with them, but yet they want nothing to do with us as people because of what we represent and what we've allowed ourselves to become as a nation, and as individuals. We can't think on our own anymore and we don't even have to if we don't want to. The government is more than happy to do that for us, and it does, making us even lazier, more warped and brainwashed, and ignorant. These are completely self-inflicted wounds, and all it takes is a little curiosity, a little drive, and a little concern. Why do so many millions of Americans not see this and want what they could have? They claim to be happy, yet I've met families living beside busy streets and dirty ditches with nothing more than a make-shift shanty and good imaginations who are happier than most Americans.
Continuing from before I got of on a tangent, at Erawan Falls, we hiked up some serious rocks (not for the weak or lazy) in the lush, green tropical vegetation, climbing 7 tiers of emerald green waterfalls and pools. A couple small gibbons were "hanging" out in some trees near the first tier. I suddenly felt a part of my heart mend together, becoming more whole at the sight. I felt at home seeing them there live, before my eyes. Watching monkeys is not dissimilar to holding a baby and watching his or her every move, expression, thought. They really are human-like, and babies are "like" little people. Their brains are capable of processing, interpreting, and creating. Their bodies (unlike those of babies) can multitask, feel weight distribution effortlessly, navigate amongst branches and limbs with such ease and haste. I can't wait to spend more time with them, get to know them and their personalities, become more in tune with my own body and able to throw it about with awareness. If I was something in a past life, I think it was a monkey...or a dolphin. Maybe a dolphin first. They intrigue the crap out of me, either way, and I love them, in their natural habitat, of course.
I love discovering new and universal forms of sign language, out of necessity, to use to interact with people who speak different languages than any I know. A person can only be co creative on his or her own, but stick them in a new environment, surrounded by foreign culture and he or she will realize so much more potential in him/herself as the person realizes that there's never a bottom to a black hole (the astronomical,scientific abyss). There's always "plenty more where that came from," one simply must be inspired or stimulated in a new way.
On the drive back to Kanchanaburi from our day trip to the falls, I watched the fiery sun slowly sneak off behind the green mountains to make light for a new day on the side of the world that I used to call home. Daria had left on a bus back to Bangkok in order to catch her flight to the States in time, so I had the motorcycle to myself. B-) Yeh, talk about super freedom! I could stand up, put my feet up, stir around, go fast, weave from side to side, and I could feel the bugs smacking into my face, the wind and dirt and dust drying out my eyeballs, and the wetness seeping out of the corners of them like tears of happiness, but it didn't bother me for a minute. I was living and feeling and it was a dream. Had some grasshoppers for breakfast. They were better the first time around when they were fresh. They were less crunchy and rather tasteless 2 days later, but I finished them anyway. haha
We passed a field of sleepy sunflowers that hung their heads as dusk came over them. Fields of sugarcane lined the road for miles, hiding tiny paths to bamboo bungalows that I was dying to visit and make my own. I would've loved to trek down the trails to discover the beautiful, yet simple lifestyles of the local village people. That time will come, though, for me. I must be patient. I was doing things Phil's way this weekend: playing civilized tourist and staying in the city in guesthouses along the main drag. I appreciated it, however, because I was able to do things that I normally wouldn't have chosen to see or gotten to experience if it were up to me. I definitely could live there, though, out in the countryside, which to me is the wrong word to use in this area of the world, but I am not sure what else to call it that would paint the right picture for my readers.
Loy Krathong is a huge Thai holiday I was able to experience firsthand, a day or two later. On this day, they celebrate and give thanks to the water: the sea, the river, and lakes for feeding and providing for them. They send off little "krathongs" made of palm frowns, fresh flowers, sugarcane rings, and candles, into the water and simple lanterns with flames that fill with hot air from the candles and float off into the sky at night. It's quite a sight, rather magical. The area adjacent to the lake we went to was filled with thousands of people with home made fireworks and explosives (like M-80's). That many unsupervised people with such intense dynamite in one area makes for a mini war zone. At one point, I thought I had blown up after feeling, hearing, and seeing a bright flash and huge burst that made me jump...somehow. It was kinda scary, but after realizing I was still in one piece I was laughing and running and dodging the other "bullets".
I love rewarding my students. I love giving them candy or letting them play games in class, educational games (usually) where they actually all have fun and laugh and smile. I love saying something (completely without direct intention) that somehow or another ends up making someone feel special and tickles his or her soul, if only for a moment. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and when my words or actions end up affecting someone positively, to my awareness, I can't help but giggle at the beauty of someone feeling special.
One of my students (12-years-old) was writing sentences about how he felt. One sentence said "When I feel unhappy, I eat coke." hahaha I had to laugh hysterically. And this is why our world is so corrupt!
Thai food has yet to disappoint me. Granted, I have had a few dishes that made me basically cry for about 20 minutes, my face turn red, and practically made me blow a fuse because of the intensit of the spiciness, but it's always been well worth it. The best part so far has been the fact that I don't have a clue about most of the ingredients in my food. I usually have no idea what I am eating. They cut up whole chickens (even though I don't eat chicken) and throw everything in the pan, include whole herbs like whole, raw galangal (Thai ginger) root pieces, huge and impossible-to-chew bay leaves, and some sort of peppercorns they use that add so much flavor, but are SO intense if eaten raw or without by themselves and whole. My point is that I love the constant stimulation of all these new foods that always have some sort of surprise about them. There's usually at least one or two ingredients that I discover at the bottom of the dish or that I've never tried or seen before.
Down in Bangkok near Khao San Road is the famous Wat Phra kaew nd Grand Palace. Apparently this is the most famous temple in the country, and for good reason. It's stunning details, colors, intricacy of architecture and decoration, as well as its enormous lay out, consumed me for several hours one day. This was my first true experience with Buddhism as a religion. Incense and flowers were given as offerings, shoes were piled high and left outside the actual temple, and every square centimeter of these buildings was adorned with some sort of color of paint or texture that blew my mind. The entire expanse of one bordering wall told a story via hand-painted murals and gold flaking. So much time and care is put into each piece of these temples, resulting in a fine display and representation of the Buddhist culture.
A friend from back in the States came to Thailand on a yoga retreat last week, and although we were unable to get together before she had to return, she sent a new Polish friend Daria (from Ft. Lauderdale, FL) my way, who was staying in the country a few extra days and wanted to hang out with a face from a familiar place. Together, we took a van from Bangkok to a place about 2 hours west of here called Kanchanaburi. This is a smaller, but also touristy little city, and another place to scratch off on my list of places to which I need to visit. Teacher Phil met us there on his motorcycle. After being crammed in this large van like sardines for a few hours and not being able to put my feet up on my seat or the one in front of me (because it's Thailand and feet are considered dirty and should not be shown or aimed at anyone), we were bombarded at the bus station with Thais trying to make a buck from the tourists and give us a ride in their tuk tuks or taxis or motorcycles. It was slightly overwhelming for a few moments, but once we got away from the station area and found a row of food stalls to pacify our hunger pangs, we were able to relax and take in the scene. I was feeling ballsy and curious (go figure) and ended up buying an assortment of insects and amphibians to snack on as an appetizer. Phil and Daria were rather speechless throughout the selection, purchasing (only 30 baht...about $1), and eating process, and I must say their faces were priceless. It was new and different and I don't necessarily support the mass extinction of these creatures (grasshoppers, frogs, larvae, centipede things, etc.) but it was one of those you just have to try once to say you did, so...I did. They were pretty crunchy, and I would probably prefer them covered in chocolate or a dip of some sort, but they were cooked and lightly salted and actually not too bad. There was about one heaping handful of assorted critters that lasted me through the next day's breakfast. haha. I definitely got my protein in that day! We stayed in floating rooms with walls and ceilings constructed from paper-thin sugarcane on the River Kwai, the first night. I woke up to this loud noise of a long tail boat pulling a huge floating restaurant down the river. Soo loud..
We rented another motorcycle and toured through the winding mountain roads, fresh air, and tiny villages
of the Thai countryside about an hour north to the Erawan Waterfalls. I felt so alive behind the handlebars with the wind in my hair, turning it into one big dread lock. My nose filled with hundreds of aromas that shuffled through the air, all so different, yet all so deliciously invigorating. Each one made my smile grow wider and wider. The untethered feeling of having control of time, speed, and direction that was given me the moment I affixed myself in the driver's seat of the motorcycle was a brilliant highlight of my time here to date. It was yet another feeling to add to my ever-growing list of indescribable feelings I've experienced. I've driven motorcycles before, preferably dirt bikes that I could take off-roading on dirt ramps and through the woods in a race to not get to anywhere, but to get the most out of the experience, meaning faster speeds, steeper jumps, trickier terrain, etc. Every experience is different, though, and this one, on this bike, with this girl on the back, both of us with bare feet, in this country, driving down this road to this place, was unforgettable. Weaving in and out between trucks with bamboo poles piled 7 feet high on top of the racks and finally getting a first-hand dose of Thai-style driving was incredible. So free! Smiles and waves from all the passers-by who happen to be watching the road from their lazy hammocks, fruit stands, or bungalows made me giddy. Once we arrived at the waterfall park, we were greeted by foreigners (farangs) from every corner of the globe, and they were speaking languages to which I've not been introduced. So cool! Having to figure out which language to best address them was quite a thrill. Language really does open up a part of your mind that takes you out of your comfort zone, and if not utilized and practiced, will never become easier. It's not everyday that we are able to use this kind of knowledge that we may or may not already have, but once you open that door, it's a challenge that can be rather addicting and consuming (in a good way). The average American is spoiled (to some) or deprived of ( to others a.k.a. me) in that they don't have/get to experience the inability of being able to communicate to another human being via the use of words and language. It's really sad. Most Americans don't know what it's like to be somewhere where they are not understood and able to get/do anything they want, talk to anyone they want at any time. Having to learn or rack your brain for words in a different language, just in order to say hello or apologize or order food or any small task (not to mention get to know a person) is complicated. It's liberating and such a fun thing to be able to do. Americans are so brainwashed into believing the lies that they are the best of the best and the rest of the world wants to live in America and be like Americans and speak and act and talk and dress like Americans. It's a load of crap, and it's so sad to be the fat, lazy country that the rest of the world makes fun of for these reasons. America has a lot going for it, a lot of opportunities and such, but it's not full of educated, happy, and selfless people by any means. What are we striving for in life, anyway? Do we really want to be the most popular kid in school who is only popular because our parents are rich and so we have all these fancy clothes and drive a nice car but can't do anything for ourselves, much less for the other people around us? We don't have any close friends, merely millions of acquaintances, and it's our own fault. We are so talented and have so many resources, yet we choose to be so selfish and run the world, oblivious to the exuberant amount of good we're destroying in the process. People of the world probably wouldn't mind if we shared our easily-obtained money with them, but yet they want nothing to do with us as people because of what we represent and what we've allowed ourselves to become as a nation, and as individuals. We can't think on our own anymore and we don't even have to if we don't want to. The government is more than happy to do that for us, and it does, making us even lazier, more warped and brainwashed, and ignorant. These are completely self-inflicted wounds, and all it takes is a little curiosity, a little drive, and a little concern. Why do so many millions of Americans not see this and want what they could have? They claim to be happy, yet I've met families living beside busy streets and dirty ditches with nothing more than a make-shift shanty and good imaginations who are happier than most Americans.
Continuing from before I got of on a tangent, at Erawan Falls, we hiked up some serious rocks (not for the weak or lazy) in the lush, green tropical vegetation, climbing 7 tiers of emerald green waterfalls and pools. A couple small gibbons were "hanging" out in some trees near the first tier. I suddenly felt a part of my heart mend together, becoming more whole at the sight. I felt at home seeing them there live, before my eyes. Watching monkeys is not dissimilar to holding a baby and watching his or her every move, expression, thought. They really are human-like, and babies are "like" little people. Their brains are capable of processing, interpreting, and creating. Their bodies (unlike those of babies) can multitask, feel weight distribution effortlessly, navigate amongst branches and limbs with such ease and haste. I can't wait to spend more time with them, get to know them and their personalities, become more in tune with my own body and able to throw it about with awareness. If I was something in a past life, I think it was a monkey...or a dolphin. Maybe a dolphin first. They intrigue the crap out of me, either way, and I love them, in their natural habitat, of course.
I love discovering new and universal forms of sign language, out of necessity, to use to interact with people who speak different languages than any I know. A person can only be co creative on his or her own, but stick them in a new environment, surrounded by foreign culture and he or she will realize so much more potential in him/herself as the person realizes that there's never a bottom to a black hole (the astronomical,scientific abyss). There's always "plenty more where that came from," one simply must be inspired or stimulated in a new way.
On the drive back to Kanchanaburi from our day trip to the falls, I watched the fiery sun slowly sneak off behind the green mountains to make light for a new day on the side of the world that I used to call home. Daria had left on a bus back to Bangkok in order to catch her flight to the States in time, so I had the motorcycle to myself. B-) Yeh, talk about super freedom! I could stand up, put my feet up, stir around, go fast, weave from side to side, and I could feel the bugs smacking into my face, the wind and dirt and dust drying out my eyeballs, and the wetness seeping out of the corners of them like tears of happiness, but it didn't bother me for a minute. I was living and feeling and it was a dream. Had some grasshoppers for breakfast. They were better the first time around when they were fresh. They were less crunchy and rather tasteless 2 days later, but I finished them anyway. haha
We passed a field of sleepy sunflowers that hung their heads as dusk came over them. Fields of sugarcane lined the road for miles, hiding tiny paths to bamboo bungalows that I was dying to visit and make my own. I would've loved to trek down the trails to discover the beautiful, yet simple lifestyles of the local village people. That time will come, though, for me. I must be patient. I was doing things Phil's way this weekend: playing civilized tourist and staying in the city in guesthouses along the main drag. I appreciated it, however, because I was able to do things that I normally wouldn't have chosen to see or gotten to experience if it were up to me. I definitely could live there, though, out in the countryside, which to me is the wrong word to use in this area of the world, but I am not sure what else to call it that would paint the right picture for my readers.
Loy Krathong is a huge Thai holiday I was able to experience firsthand, a day or two later. On this day, they celebrate and give thanks to the water: the sea, the river, and lakes for feeding and providing for them. They send off little "krathongs" made of palm frowns, fresh flowers, sugarcane rings, and candles, into the water and simple lanterns with flames that fill with hot air from the candles and float off into the sky at night. It's quite a sight, rather magical. The area adjacent to the lake we went to was filled with thousands of people with home made fireworks and explosives (like M-80's). That many unsupervised people with such intense dynamite in one area makes for a mini war zone. At one point, I thought I had blown up after feeling, hearing, and seeing a bright flash and huge burst that made me jump...somehow. It was kinda scary, but after realizing I was still in one piece I was laughing and running and dodging the other "bullets".
Sunday, November 14, 2010
You can put on the red light if you want to.
So, I forgot the mention an exceptional opportunity I had in Hawaii. I was taken to the world's only natural salt water aquarium. I swam in a champagne pool filled with nearly 1000 fish and sea creatures or all sizes, meeting face to face with parrot fish, tuna, eels, and many other vibrant fish. I fed them avocados, lettuce, mangoes, and papaya. They loved it, but I think I loved it more. Such a special feeling that was! It reached parts of "wow" that I can't explain. And to be able to do that in a natural environment? Priceless.
I am comforted by the stray dogs that wander lazily about the streets, and occasionally burst into a wild barking fest.
So, I have been hanging out with another teacher who is also a sound engineer, and he has been sharing his knowledge with me. The addiction of music is a strong one. If it gets to you, you're basically done for, suckered into a life all-consuming. Every measure of a song, every sound or beat takes over you and is captured and tossed into an expensive blender of ideas and moves and other rhythms and vibes. Any life is forever tolerable from this point forward. I remember how closed and unexposed I once was to so many things. I didn't understand different lifestyles or types of music or ways of thinking and reaching conclusions. I thought I knew it all. Traveling has and forever will continuously erase these stereotypes and preconceived notions about the unknown. And I am so thankful for the opportunity to be able to say that. For the freedom to not care so much that all I can do is care. Care about every single human being who's path happens to cross mine, whatever their intention or mine. Some people are concerned, and for good reason, with safety and finances. I believe these are things one should be aware of, but should not have to constantly worry and stress over them. The less one has, the less one has to worry about. I have 150 pounds of belongings with me. I'd like to at least cut it in half. It ties me down. It's extra weight that inhibits me from doing.
I've decided to let the teaching gig go and to travel to the Philippines to see my family, experience yet another country, and to give myself time to do things I want to do. Teaching hasn't given me much chance to do that. The environment is not for me. I need to be physical, outside, and not working 13 hours a day. It'll be grand.
And I love Thailand. Everywhere you go, there are sacrifices to make, and having to make those is tough but oh, so inspiring after that fact, no matter the outcome. For every red light, there's a green light. Why else would there be a red light?
I am comforted by the stray dogs that wander lazily about the streets, and occasionally burst into a wild barking fest.
So, I have been hanging out with another teacher who is also a sound engineer, and he has been sharing his knowledge with me. The addiction of music is a strong one. If it gets to you, you're basically done for, suckered into a life all-consuming. Every measure of a song, every sound or beat takes over you and is captured and tossed into an expensive blender of ideas and moves and other rhythms and vibes. Any life is forever tolerable from this point forward. I remember how closed and unexposed I once was to so many things. I didn't understand different lifestyles or types of music or ways of thinking and reaching conclusions. I thought I knew it all. Traveling has and forever will continuously erase these stereotypes and preconceived notions about the unknown. And I am so thankful for the opportunity to be able to say that. For the freedom to not care so much that all I can do is care. Care about every single human being who's path happens to cross mine, whatever their intention or mine. Some people are concerned, and for good reason, with safety and finances. I believe these are things one should be aware of, but should not have to constantly worry and stress over them. The less one has, the less one has to worry about. I have 150 pounds of belongings with me. I'd like to at least cut it in half. It ties me down. It's extra weight that inhibits me from doing.
I've decided to let the teaching gig go and to travel to the Philippines to see my family, experience yet another country, and to give myself time to do things I want to do. Teaching hasn't given me much chance to do that. The environment is not for me. I need to be physical, outside, and not working 13 hours a day. It'll be grand.
And I love Thailand. Everywhere you go, there are sacrifices to make, and having to make those is tough but oh, so inspiring after that fact, no matter the outcome. For every red light, there's a green light. Why else would there be a red light?
PT: Yeh, but why?
Imagine: the epitome of unconcern for the opinion others hold of you. We strive for it, some more than others, and yet we can only imagine the total freedom of pure disconnect from the perception that other people create of us. Why are we so concerned? WOULD that be a positive thing, if we were so carefree? We're a product of our every moment, each environment we encounter shapes us into our own unique mold, and the idea of how many unique beings traipse the earth on a daily basis is mind-blowing. Where did we start and where do we end? Is there an end? How is progression defined in the elapse of time? Are we progressing or simply changing? Is one person more right than another when it comes to fulfilling the purpose of life? How is it that some people never get to experience pure happiness and others know nothing else? Why is it that sometimes we are wrapped up in such a strong embrace, we feel invincible? How is it that some can control the creation of such feelings, yet others aren't quite able to reach this point. Are they trying too hard? What shall they sacrifice to feel the feeling of utter vulnerability, so naked that it's comforting? So exposed, it feels safe. That is what invincibility means to me. Giving up all fear for the sake of being free. Unstoppable. Unbreakable. Almost immortal. I wish everyone could make a movie of themselves. A movie of our lives. Every moment of everyday. And we all could watch it. Everyone. It would consist of footage of daily routines and adventures and precisely selected music. No dialogue. Just video and song. So much can be felt and moved through sight and sound. What is like to live without all 5 or 6 senses? Is one really deprived if he or she lacks a sense? What about 2? Can they still be swept away into the Never Neverland of instruments and sea breezes and sunsets and wind in their hair, and the taste and texture of foods, and warm sand surrounding their feet, the feeling of free fall, being 30 stories high on a balcony and having the view of a bustling city below, with only the sound of the wind in their ears? How is it that I am able to connect with people without even having met them? I feel like I'm always in a movie, and everything in each scene of my day is an important part of the movie. I somehow feel able to relate with each part of the movie, each character, each building, each piece of trash on the ground, extra fill-in in the background. And no words are necessary. That seems to be a major theme for my life lately: communication via methods of abnormality: non verbal only.
I'm learning. And I love it.
I'm learning. And I love it.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
PT: There's Comfort at High Speeds
We all have moments in our lives, snip-its in time when we can have realizations, find answers to questions we may not have known we had. Realizations where we instinctively, but conciosuly recognize the significance of that particular moment as a turning point, a landmark, that marks where our lives are changing. When you smile and think to your self, 'Whoah! This moment is going to shape the rest of my life'. And it's those moments, if/when realized, inspire and motivate us to embrace that about which we are truly passionate. Most of the ideas of which we create and take ownership as children are our most genuine passions. If a child wants to be a hairstylist, a painter, a writer, a firefighter, a rapper, no matter the source of the idea, because there always exists an essence of source, he or she is destined to partake in such concept. An idea. Some thing. A thought or conception that potentially or actually exists in the mind as a product of mental activity, exists for some possibly unexplainable reason. To serve some purpose in the file labeled by the title of that specific individual. Locked securely in the safe of the Answer Book to Life. Each person on this earth has been given the opportunity to be. Be anything, just be. Be however YOU want. Take that to heart because it's the epitome of living your life. What other reason would there be to the endless options that have the maximum potential to encounter such pure individual happiness and fulfillment within our souls. The manifest content of a dream as opposed to the latent content that it conceals is typically insight to the soul, whether or not we are able to interpret it. So, dance naked like a funky chicken. Sing in your shower until you lose your voice. Leave your house and talk a walk in a foreign part of town with your headphones in, your body grooving, your lips smiling, and become completely consumed in the tune and the beat as they lift you off the ground and spiral you up into a world in the sky where you are invisible to the rest of the world but able to take in everything you see, hear and feel through creative eyes and a completely vulnerable mind. Fly to the moon and never come down. This is what life is about.
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